codg·er [koj-er] –noun
|an eccentric man, esp. one who is old.|
Or perhaps I am a codgerette. Or is that too close to a courgette? I'm rambling, another sign of impending codgerdom. Or codgerette-dom.
I've been aware of creeping codger tendencies over time. I have long ago started talking like my mother. ("I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it!") I have told my children stories about my childhood that they patently disbelieve because I am obviously not as cool as all that. Friend Husband and I have amazing conversations about fiber or the lack thereof in our diet. We don't eat sugary cereals anymore, by choice. I apply sunscreen, get the oil changed in my car regularly, and attempt to clamp down on myself when I want to answer one of the girls' complaints with, "Look, Missy, when I was your age..."
It's all over now.
Even my husband says it's over.
It wasn't my steadfast refusal to wear heels anymore or my sad need for the depilatory agents. It wasn't the fact that I'm soon to need bifocals. It wasn't that I'd really much rather sit at home and read than go out to dinner and a movie or worse yet, a concert. No, it was this:
I decried the use of technological advances simply for the thrill of "advancing". I told this customer service rep that I didn't want a new phone that could e-mail and take pictures and could download mp3 files...I just wanted one that wouldn't spontaneously turn off and not tell me that someone was calling. Oh, and I did tell some poor little Meijer employee that when I rounded up carts (back in the days when the Earth's crust was cooling), we certainly weren't allowed to listen to ipods (or the eighties equivalent, the Walkman). Both young men whom I encountered today looked at me as if I were 70 years old, in an old housedress and white sweater, hat on my head and wrinkled stockings bagging around my ankles.
And I deserved it.
When did I stop caring about learning new things (like what the difference between WiFi access for your phone versus internet service is)? When did I actively start disliking changes in technology that require me to learn or to do something new? I actually told this Cincinnati Bell employee today, "Look, I'm 40. You're going to have to explain this to me differently."
And he understood what I meant.
It's all downhill from here.