Saturday, November 03, 2007

Life with ADD

I don't actually have ADD. I have a lot of other issues, but thankfully that is not one of them. But, looking at my life lately, and the things that are changing in it has made me think that I seem to be going from one project to the next without my typical obsessive digging in as deeply as possible to wrest every drop from something before I move on.

I've decided that this is a good thing.

Why? Well, it's been a long time since I've been energetic enough to do more than the minimum required for sustenance of life. Depression takes an astounding amount of energy. So does the rearing of 5 children and the home education of three of them. I didn't have anything left over for other projects.

I don't know what is the cause of my ability to do more these days. I don't feel as depressed, so part of it is probably the meds, part of it is probably the exercise. I think part of it is the renewed mental engagement with life. Learning to knit turned on a light and a connection in my brain. So is doing NaNo. Although I'm discovering that I'm not the writer I thought I was (e.g. brilliant or even serviceable), I am so enjoying the process. Here's a recap:

Day 1: I started out, excited, bright and early. I got stuck and badly at 780 words. I almost chucked it all right then. I knew that I'd be a failure! I just knew it! But I came at the story another way and almost without effort, I got to 2759. I beamed through the rest of the day. The novel may be drivel but I did 2759 words the first day.

Day 2: Also got started early and pounded through about 1800 words before Friend Husband left for work and my stint as mom and teacher began for the day. Yes, amazingly, this made me very happy. By the end of the evening, I was bleary-eyed and tired but I'd reached 5848 words. I retired to read the rest of my book club book (The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter, by Sharyn McCrumb...amazing, haunting, and beautiful...go read it yourself) and, finally, to sleep.

Day 3: That would be today. Obviously I'm not getting a lot done, so I'm going to get out of the house, go to the library (away from the wiles of the Internet) and write there. My plan is to get 5000 words in today. Or my goal. Or my hope. Or whatever. At any rate, that's what I'm going to try and do.

So far, it amazes me how much pleasure this thing brings me. I figured that, like anything else with requirements and a deadline, that I would eventually chafe against the restraints. But, like most creative things that I do, I'm enjoying this. It opens up new vistas in my imagination and makes even my day-to-day life seem infused with magic. It makes me smile. And that's well worth the price of admission.


Julie@Shanan Trail said...

I am glad you are feeling more energetic...

Enjoy writing your novel! How cool are you?

Gina said...

That's a very cool thing to have happen! Good for you.

pat said...

WOW - Go for it!!!