Monday, March 17, 2008

Letting go...

This morning I put my firstborn on a plane to Florida. Once she gets there, her grandfather will pluck her off and take her to lunch. These bare facts hide a bunch of emotions on all sides. Her grandfather (and his wife) are probably completely joyful and thrilled that she is on her way. They have been trying to get her out there for years. I hope that, by now, Sarah is a little excited and happy to be there but when faced with the employee who would put her on the plane, she started sobbing. This, of course, did nothing for my mood, which I was trying to keep upbeat for her sake.

On the long drive home from Indianapolis (the Cincinnati airport being the most expensive in the nation, we seldom use it), I had time to analyze what I was feeling. I was feeling teary, certainly, but I don't think it was teary for the sake of "oh no, my baby's growing up and leaving me". I think it was more being sad because she was feeling so distraught.

Sarah is not someone who finds it easy to just relax and have a good time for the sake of having a good time. This is sometimes hard to explain to others and sometimes hard to work around, but it's part of who she is and we have adjusted to it. I don't think her grandparents quite get it. I hope that they don't have a week of staring at one another with complete incomprehension.

Also, again, Elof may have found a home. We actually had someone come by and see him last night. I haven't heard from him today so he may be another flake but I did have a good feeling about him. I hope, for Elof's sake, that Troy decides he wants him. The girls are sad but I think they understand.

And I am just generally sad. Now that I'm back home, I have permission to be. But I do hope that Sarah has a good time (and if you're reading this, Sarah, just do it.)

4 comments:

acceptancewithjoy said...

Oh, I pray your daughter and her grandparents spend the week getting to know each other and creating special memories!

Your photos in the previous post are great too. I always thought Marissa looked so cute sleeping, but I was afraid the flash would wake her up... she didn't do well if she didn't get her whole sleep in. And, she doesn't go back to bed.

FRIGGA said...

First solo plane trip eh? How old is she? I was 12 when I took mine, only I didn't have anyone who knew me to pick me up at the other end. I was going to a camp and I believe it was a shuttle that took me from the airport to the camp. Gosh, after reading your post I wonder how much my mom worried about me getting on that plane...

Anyway, I came by to let you know I posted the "stories" from last weeks Mad Libs style TT - come by and vote if you have time!! :-)

The Mama Bear said...

I hope Sarah has a good time.
I remember these same feelings when we first let go and took the kids to camp and such....and Sarah sounds like my boys in their attitudes and feelings.

Gina said...

Have you heard from her yet? I hope she had a good night sleep and can relax today.