So, don't blame the cat. I'm the one who pasted Dave and scratched up his face.
I was thinking about blogging about something else today but I got some bad news (about someone else) last night and I just can't focus too much on anything else. Plus, this is the fourth anniversary of her passing. I was thinking about that last night. There was so very much going on when she passed and her passing was like flicking the first domino in a long chain. That was the start of my latest and greatest clinical depression. Four years later, I think I finally have a hold on that. And I still miss her, my heart still aches for her passing and for her life, but it isn't crippling anymore. For that I am thankful. Without further ado, thirteen things about Mom. 1. She had the most beautiful handwriting I've seen since they stopped teaching copperplate script in schools. 2. She was left-handed, as was my late, great mil. They loved that they were both left-handed and hoped that one of their granddaughters would be as well. Alas for Barbara (the late, great mil), none of her granddaughters was but one of my brother's girls shows great promise as a southpaw. 3. Mother had the most beautiful eyes. When I was there in her final illness, caring for her, Friend Cherylyn encouraged me to memorize the color of her eyes. I've been grateful for that ever since. Her eyes were a medium soldier blue (blue with a bit of grey in it) and so so lovely. 4. I taught Mom to do cross-stitch embroidery when I was in my teens. While my "works" consisted mainly of cross-stitched mottoes, hers were works of art. It was a craft at which she excelled and which gave her a great feeling of accomplishment over the years. 5. Mom baked a mean Italian Creme Cake, which was her friends' favorite thing for her to make for them. More than one of them asked her to make them for a wedding or an anniversary party. (Sad to say, it was not her children's favorite dessert.) 6. Mother loved babies. She was the woman in her congregation who would pop up to a new mother and beg for the privilege to hold their newborn. When my girls were born, she came out to spend a week helping out and would sleep with them either on her chest or right next to her in bed. When they woke up to be fed, she happily schlepped them to me and took them back when I was finished nursing them. I think if she had been able to, she would have had a houseful. 7. According to my dad, Mom had an easy time delivering her babies too. That was not my memory when she delivered my (half) sister Kimberley when I was 14, but Daddy says that my brother and I were born in record time with an impressively small output of effort. 8. I loved Mother's name but she really didn't, especially her middle name (Joy). Of course, two of her granddaughters have that as their middle name, one of mine and one of my brother's. 9. I don't know if it was just being a part of her generation, but Mom was very concerned about how she looked and she got very frustrated with me because of her perception that I didn't care. When I was in my last year of college, I was a confederate in a psychology experiment. This meant that I had to look like a freshman, which I attempted to accomplish by not wearing makeup to school. Mom was convinced that I was "letting myself go" and told me in no uncertain terms that the man who was to become Friend Husband in short order was a bad influence on me. Heh. Even in the last days of her life, she was plucking stray hairs and putting on makeup to go out to appointments. Go, Mom. 10. Mom loved her friends and her cousins. She gave a lot of time and energy to upkeep on those relationships. When I was in Texas for the family reunion, her cousins were pleased to see me and the extra undercurrent was that they missed Mom so much. And I still get cards and phone calls from her friends. Amazing! 11. Because she did not get a college degree and felt crippled in this in her job, she insisted that her children get their degrees. She (unlike my stepfather) didn't care what they were in as long as we had "that piece of paper". I think she was happier than we were when we got them. 12. One of the tenderest moments I had with Mom was when I was about to graduate with my Master's and had a miscarriage. She and my mil were coming up to "see me walk" to get my diploma and she tried so hard to get me to come back to Texas with her because I was so devastated by the miscarriage. You have to understand that she was not thrilled with my choice of Friend Husband as my life's mate and I think she wanted to do some coddling on her own but she accepted my "I...I...just want...to stay...with Doug," without a murmur. I know it doesn't sound particularly tender but it was. It was unusual for her to demur when she had her mind set on something, especially when she knew she could manipulate the situation easily to suit her wishes. That she chose not to in this case was a permanent plus for me. 13. Of course, Mom adored her granddaughters. When I was pregnant with Sarah, my oldest, and found out that the baby was a girl, Mom was over the top with happiness. I think she wanted a granddaughter to dress up in frilly, lacy clothes and hair bows. She made it plain that she was thrilled with granddaughters and that's what she got: six granddaughters before she passed. I think she would have laughed uproariously to hear what merry chases David leads me on but she did love her granddaughters. What to say? I miss her so much. While we were never close, there are still times when I think, "Oh, I'll have to remember to tell Mom about that!" Then it hits me that I never will. If you still have your mother, give her a big hug from me. |
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11 comments:
You have wonderfull mom
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I love your Mom!
I hope my daughter will look back so fondly on me...right now her TT about me would be 13 rolls of the eyes!
I love your Mom too!
What a wonderful woman your mom was and what a great memories you have! I am sorry you did not have more time together...
What a beautiful picture of your mom, and I agree about her eyes--gorgeous!
What a sweet remembrance too. I can identify with several of the things you mentioned about your mom (reminds me of my mom), your relationship with her, ways you and your mom were different, etc.
Blessings,
Janet
P.S. An aside note--I can identify with having bouts of clinical depression too.
P.P.S. I'll be seeing my mom this weekend, and I will be giving her a hug! Thanks for this post.
I had a sister pass away when I was a four (she was eighteen months) and her middle name is Joy. I love that middle name to this day.
Hi Lori,
I came over to your site from my friend Janet's site. Thanks for sharing your precious memories of your Mom. My Mom is elderly now and has health issues. One thing we love to do when we're together is talk about the precious memories we share.
Blessings,
Gin
Your mom sounds great, and I love your memories of her. Great post! Dre
That is a very moving tribute to your mother. She sounds like a wonderful lady.
What a wonderful tribute to your mom! Her eyes are a beautiful. My Dad's eyes were a similar blue-gray.
The first anniversary of my Dad's death was September 1... I still don't know how I survived the year.
It's so sad to loose your mother in the first place - then she was way too young! She seemed to be a very nice lady! Hugs from Cousin M
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