Thursday, September 18, 2008

Up and down


But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance {self-control}:  against such there is no law.
Galatians 5: 22-23

And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance {self-control}; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 1: 5-8

I no longer pray for patience.  That's a joke of some standing in our home because the truth of the matter is that I was once praying for patience with a lot of things.  And God gave us the twins. 

Not that I don't love the twins but, like most people, I was kind of hoping that God would sort of just zap me one day and I'd be beatific, beautiful, and serene.  Instead He decided to let me practice.  So I no longer pray for patience.  And, though I don't pray for self-control, I recognize that I have many instances in which to practice it.  And I usually fail miserably.

Today was a prime example. Well, this morning, as it is just the beginning of the day, really.  I was just remarking to Friend Husband this morning about the lesson that John gave in the worship service yesterday.  One of the things he talked about was not letting our emotions get the best of us.  Much easier said than done for your faithful correspondent.  It's part and parcel of that self-control thing.  And the patience thing.  Which I know better than to pray for anymore.

In the span of just an hour, my emotions were up and down and all over the place.  My nerves are totally jangling from the experience.  I know that blood pressure meds are in my future, I just know it.  So, I was already a little upset because David managed to injure the neighbor boy yesterday.  He ended up with a CT scan and 4 stitches in his cheek.  Because the little heathens sneaked into the house and were playing on equipment that we had told them not to touch.  Ever.  Now I know that the neighbor boy should have known better.  He's older than David and he has been told 1) not to go into the house unless I ask him and 2) not to play on the exercise equipment.  He still got hurt and I felt very badly for him.  I'm also going to feel very badly for my checkbook when we find out how much the little escapade is going to cost us.

So I'm talking to Friend Husband and the children (except for Sarah) are running in and out, asking me questions despite the fact that I'm on the phone.  And railing at me when they don't like the answers.  I'm sorry.  At what point did I ever give you the idea that it was good to 1) talk to me when I'm on the phone and 2) sass me when I tell you to do/not to do something?  That was a downer.  But it's a gorgeous day and I enjoy talking to FH so that was an upper.  I had just told FH that I was bummed that Friend Gina and I couldn't meet on Saturday because of her continuing power outage and all the work that it entails.  He had to hang up for a little while and as he hung up, Friend Gina called.  Hooray, they have power again!  She's happy, I'm happy, our plans for Saturday are back on again. 

Then the children come back in, being noisy and mouthy.  I returned Friend Husband's call (another happy...FH is a cool guy), then hung up to see David climbing up my brass bed.  Again.  As I have repeatedly told him not to do because it would break.  As I told him yet again, because it would break and because I told you not to, for pity's sake.  He jumps down and then says, "But I already broke it, Mom," and looks at me to see what I'm going to do.  With a Mona Lisa smile on his pretty face.  Then he showed me where the bar had indeed come loose and it was not a quick fix. 

My mind instantly raced to all the countless other things he's been responsible for ruining in the last few years and I started breathing very deeply.  I could feel my blood starting to rush to my head and I was trying to counteract that.  (To those of you who I've told to be sure to keep breathing when you're stressed out:  I follow my own advice.)  I very quietly told the twins to leave the room and shut the door to which they recklessly replied, "Why?"  I'm sure the face that I turned to them must have been very scary as I said, "Because I told you to.  And because if you don't leave, I'm sure that I'm going to bust your butt and you won't be able to sit down for a month."  All said in a dangerously quiet voice.  They backed out and closed the door as I began to wrestle with the bed.

I was eventually able to put it back together.  Sort of.  There's still one finial missing and I've no idea where it went when it popped off.  Still breathing deeply (because having your blood pressure rise suddenly and dangerously makes you feel sick and yucky), I left my room and told David that if he ever climbed up my bed like that again, I would most sincerely make him wish he hadn't.  Only not in that terminology exactly.  Then I heard it.  It was a familiar sound.  It was the TV running.  With Star Trek on it.  And my aging eyes focused quite clearly on the image of my two middle daughters sitting on couches watching it.  And I exploded.

It doesn't matter what I said.  I exploded.  I exploded.  They know they're not supposed to be watching tv at all, much less in the middle of a school day.  They were told an hour ago to eat their breakfasts and get to work.  And.  Yet.  They.  Sit.  Infrontofthetvonaschooldaywhentheyweretoldnotto!!!!!

Just reliving it enough to write about it is making my blood pressure go up again.  But I did wrong because I yelled at them.

I give up.  Nothing works.  I've got to save myself.

4 comments:

Ohio_Momto3boys said...

Pampered Chef bamboo cooking spoons. As long as you don't put them in the dishwasher, you can make a very good "impression" on anyone within reach. Of course, Not like ***I*** would EVER do that....hahahahahahahahaaaaaa

David is a boy. Period. There I said it. Boys are different little creatures and their heads are thick and hard as rocks. Good luck with that...

The girls? No clue. Save yourself. Take away enough stuff so as not to make YOU miserable. Threaten to send them to public school (is that a threat in your house?). Too bad they are too big to swat... although you could try it if necessary LOL.

Want me to "evaluate" their work and then write an "official" homeschool-evaluator's letter saying they will have to repeat their entire year AND work all summer if they don't get caught up?

You hang in there... chocolate is your friend..........

Kelly said...

Lori,
You make me feel so normal with this post. You even make my children out to be somewhat normal. My kids do all of the exact same stuff. Those days are MAJOR PAINS!

acceptancewithjoy said...

I blew up at Marissa on Saturday. And, I had to humble myself and apologize. It is much easier to recieve forgiveness from her than it is to forgive myself.

But...

God has been working miracles in our home since that time. Because, we had all been walking on eggshells and I came to know that I couldn't live like that anymore. And, Ron and I talked, Marissa and I talked, Ron and Marissa talked... and I think that healing is going on.

msta62 said...

Hi Cousin L,
How about some "time out" at my house for a while? You are most welcome! Wishing you a calmer and more relaxing weekend!