Yay! My sil & nieces are coming for a short visit! They should arrive around lunch time and are planning to return home on Wednesday. Why are they coming? Why, to see us, of course! Also to pick up some day-old chickens to take back home. We're going on a field trip to the chicken farm! No, the girls are not thrilled (to tell you the truth, I'm not either...I know what chicken poop smells like) but it will be a blast to be hangin' with my sil.
Unfortunately, I am up way too early (note the time stamp). I've been waking up early because, after 19½ years of marriage, my hubby has started talking in his sleep. This morning, however, I woke up on my own because I was too hot to sleep. And then, of course, I couldn't go back to sleep. (I guess that spring must be coming if I'm waking up because of being too hot.) So now I'm going to go clean up the basement/sty. I'm beyond being embarrassed about my house in front of Amber but still. With 8 children running around, it's bound to be chaotic (I am NOT Michelle Duggar, by any stretch of the imagination). I hope I'll get through the day all right but I imagine I'll be ready for bed very early tonight.
Jo Ann will be proud of me. She gave me a hard time after my last entry about how I worry about everything. Or that I find more things to worry about...it made me laugh. Well, I found a new thing to worry about yesterday. Actually, this one's been brewing for a while, but I shunted it off to another part of my brain. Last night it made its presence known. And I stewed in it for a while. And started getting upset. Then I tried to be realistic about the whole thing. It is quite possible (and even probable) that the people who are responsible for the thing I'm upset about haven't a clue and certainly wouldn't see their involvement the way I am. Plus, they're not really at fault here, I am. And my idiotic jealousy of people who I think are better than I always gets in my way.
But here's the part Jo Ann will approve. I was able to give myself a stern but loving talking-to and get it under grips. Somewhat, anyway. At least I wasn't bawling my eyes out last night and scaring my family. And yes, it still bugs me, to a degree, but so far I'm not letting it take over completely. Or to steal my joy at seeing my beloved family again.
Good, Jo Ann?
2 comments:
My parents always said "Nobody's better than you, but you are no better than anybody else" ... so there.
Seriously though, I fight with envy and jealousy also. Mine isn't that I think people are better than I am (because I KNOW my kids are way cuter and more fun than anybody elses and that's all that matters LOL), mine is more of "Well, why does SHE get to ________ and I don't?". Fill in that blank with: spend money, eat out, have fewer house chores, drive wherever she wants, buy new clothes, go out with her other friends, spend time away from her kids, and so it goes...
One day, I decided to do a word study on Envy and Jealousy. I got out my old trusty big honkin' concordance and wrote the verse listings of EVERY mention of those words (and forms of the words). For a couple days, if I had a few minutes alone, I wrote out in longhand each verse beside it's notation, copied word for word from the Bible. It was tedious but after a while, I realized that I didn't have those feelings of envy or jealousy anymore! The next time my friend got to do ________, I was actually happy for her. Those feelings of jealousy crept up on me and I reread some of the dozens of verses that I had copied out. Pretty soon, I was back under control.
I basically flooded my brain with God's opinions on my behavior. I'm not in perfect shape by any means but I feel like I'm making progress.
Nobody's better than you. Really. Your quirky family is FUN and interesting. Why do you think we, your loyal readers, keep coming back? Do you think those "better than you" folks have such a following? I doubt it... So their houses are perfect. So every meal they prepare is perfectly nutritious and elegant. So every item of clothing they wear NEVER has a stain and wouldn't DARE to wrinkle...So what? You have kiddos surrounded by LOVE and learning and LIFE. You have a dear hubby who deals with too much estrogen in the house at any given time. You have beautiful twins whose pictures and silly escapades make us ALL smile!!
Spring is coming. The sun will come. Enjoy your visit and keep the faith.
Have fun with your company...
And, congratulations on talking yourself out of allowing your joy to be stolen.
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