Monday, March 09, 2009

Spring forward

That DST came way too early this year. What's up with that?

And it's spring in another way this week...it's spring break for us. Hallelujah! I'm so glad! We need the rest and change of routine. Friend Husband is home and we're enjoying the sunny, warmer weather. Of course, it will probably snow once more before all is said and done but at least it's nice right now. There's just one fly in the ointment: I have been afflicted with vertigo.

Yesterday, I'd gotten woken up far too many times by David in the night and already didn't feel well when I got up. Then I realized that I really really felt ill. At the point they left for church, I hadn't realized that movement seemed to make it worse, and I assumed that I had some sort of virus, so I went back to bed. Over time I realized that 1) I was hungry, 2) moving made everything worse, and 3) it was hard for me to stand up without feeling tippy. So I unhappily concluded that my issue was vertigo. Since I posted my distressed (ie "whined") on Facebook, a few people have suggested that it could be due to illness, inner ear problems, ear infections, stress, and allergies. I don't know what's going on but I'm very ready for it to go away and let me enjoy my spring break!

So what did I do today? I took the twins to story time at the library. We came home pretty quickly because I was feeling queasy and worried that I wouldn't be able to drive them home if I didn't leave right stinking then. I have been half-heartedly cleaning the house, getting some of our trails dismantled, etc., but I really don't relish that job so I haven't been working too hard on it. I also sat outside, enjoying the sunshine and the vision of my husband and children playing. Now I'm inside and about to go up and start the cycle all over again: clean, tidy, put away, cook supper, lie down.

Saturday was the 5th anniversary of Mother's passing. I was going to come on here and rerun the post I made last March 7th, but I didn't. It was an unbelievably gorgeous day outside. It was warm and sunny and windy. I did two loads of laundry and hung them on the line to dry, which they did in record time. I took the twins to the park to play with other little Ethiopian children (and some who probably did not originate in Africa). I came home and talked to Friend Husband and went to bed. All day long I thought about Mom, about how much had happened since her passing, and wondered what she would be thinking if she were alive today. But I wasn't overcome with grief, and for that I am grateful. In fact, sometime a couple of months ago, I went through a phase of missing her urgently that far superceded that of Saturday. I guess time does heal. Again, I am grateful for that.

I'm a firm believer that everything we do, think, see, etc. has lasting effects on us. Sometimes I feel very scarred as a result of some of the things that have happened in my life. But sometimes, just sometimes, those scars fade enough so that we can remember our trials with bittersweet recall rather than abject torment. And I thank God for that.

I don't know what we'll do for the rest of spring break. I'd like to clean the house more. My sil and the nieces are coming up next week, on their spring break, to pick up some chickens. I'd like for them to not have to learn to negotiate our trails while they're here. I'd like to sew a curtain for the schoolroom window. I'd like to knit a lot and read more novels that I ordered from Amazon and from the library. Maybe I won't have a chance to do any of those things. But from where I sit, life is sweet and I thank God for it.

3 comments:

Gina said...

Great thoughts! While I know you still miss your Mama terribly I'm glad that time has healed some of those wounds.

Julie said...

So sorry you are feeling not up to snuff!

We had 4+ gorgeous days. We woke up to 1/4 inch of ice on everything. There is a huge blizzard hanging over the Dakotas that is on its way here. Later today we are expecting high winds and blowing snow. We were supposed to see Beverly's doctor today. Her liver function tests are still 10X the normal level. The doctor couldn't make it into the clinic.

I still remember my Dad on the anniversary of his death. But, that day isn't as emotional as random days when something happens that reminds me of him in a special way.

msta62 said...

So how far off from Boston, Massachusetts, do you live? Quite some distance I'm afraid? I'm so envious you are having a break. I'm in a state every day now at work - could use some time off. Which I'll have in a couple of weeks time - going "home" again - for my mom's and dad's b-days. Mom 68 and dad big 70! Happy Spring Break to you all!