Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thursday Thirteen # 50

Thirteen Things I never thought I'd be saying to my child(ren)

1.  "No, honey, you have to finish your cookie before you can have more broccoli."  (to Rachel, when she was a toddler)

2.  "Do not walk in the mashed potatoes!"  (to Keziah)

3.  "Do not put the cow in my soda!"  (to David, who has a proclivity to put all sorts of stuff in my drinking glasses)

4.  "Who put the Playdough in my Diet Coke?!"  (to everyone but my money is on David for perpetrating the crime)

5.  "No, you can't go to her sleepover, we don't know who her parents are." (I'm officially a boring grown-up now.)

6.  "Ok, if we're driving around and someone throws a brick through the windshield, try to get out of the car and run.  Take your sisters and run and find a police officer."  (To Sarah, after the Cincinnati riots, when we had to go downtown for something)

7.  "Well, honey, sex is sort of like human mating.  You know, like dogs?  Only humans mate after they're married."  (Hey, at least we had a sex talk.  My mom never said a word.)

8.  "No, no...Mr. Bob is Mommy's father.  Uncle Bob is Daddy's uncle.  And Uncle Robert is Mommy's brother and your uncle."  (Ah, the bliss of generational sharing of the same name.)

9.  "Yes, she is naked, let's go."  (Said to each child at least once in their youngsterhood.)

10.  "Darling, you have to be quiet now or Mommy's brain is going to start bleeding or oozing out her ears."  (I am an introvert with a lot of talky children.)

11.  "Yes, you can stay up as late as you want to.  Turn off the lights when you're finished, I'm going to bed."  (Occasionally we let them stay up very very late but that doesn't mean that I have to!)

12.  "I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it!"  (Shades of my mother's voice coming through my mouth...creepy!)

13.  "One of these days Mommy and Daddy will be dead and all you'll have left is your siblings, so you'd better be nice to them now."  (Yep, I'm officially a deranged adult.)

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Ctina said...

This is a wonderful TT! I don't have kids yet, but I still see myself turning into the boring adult! :)

Momazing Mom said...

Oh my gosh, I love your comments. You are my hero!!! I can related to sooooooo many of these. With 4 kids there is always something "deranged" and "so my mother" coming out of my mouth. Sometimes I can't believe I say it but it happens. Thanks for sharing your T13! Great!

jdoriot said...

I can totally relate to the bleeding out of your ears! Funny list!

Gattina said...

Your glass must have been quite big to put a cow in, lol !

NOLADawn said...

LOL, I've *gasp* actually said, "Do I need to pull the car over???"

JAM said...

What about:

"Because I said so!", "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!", and "Don't you give me that look!"?

Great list!

Dewey said...

I understand that introvert with talky kids thing. My son narrates his every thought (he has Asperger's) and the result is that I tune out what he's saying so often that I sometimes miss when he's saying something important. We're working on it!

Gina said...

After you e-mailed yesterday about "don't walk in mashed potatoes", Ward and I were laughing about some of the things we've said.

Our favorite is "quit licking the dog", said to Princess as a toddler. Our other favorite although said to the dog rather than a child was "don't put the cat's head in your mouth"

I occasionally hear my Dad's words come out of my mouth. I guess that's OK. I think I turned out alright.

Mercy's Maid said...

Loved 7 and 10...and my mom has said the same thing about all of her girls needing to get along because one day she'll be dead. :) I think you're becoming MY mother.

wife said...

What a fun blog! Our families sound eerily alike. LOL!

Thanks for the comment on my blog. We'll be okay, it's just gonna take some time.


Julie said...


This was priceless. Thanks for the laugh ~