Sunday, September 30, 2012

Angry, bitter, and some news

First the news: David is having a kidney biopsy tomorrow afternoon. They are trying to find out what's going on with his kidneys as they put him on his third medication trial. He's looking forward to it. Me, not so much.

Now for angry and bitter...and be prepared for this to be somewhat ugly.

Ok, the kids are all involved in musical theater. The older girls, in particular, are very involved in it. As a result, I have been involved in it pretty heavily myself.

Last week were auditions for the spring musical. The twins' class is doing Flat Stanley and the older class is (at last!) doing Beauty and the Beast. As a helper in the classes, I watched auditions and evaluated the students' performances. In the junior class, there are no complaints. The twins did very well for themselves, considering that their auditions were not that great. The senior class was another story altogether.

My daughter Rachel has quite a lovely voice. It is my opinion that her audition was the best for the character of Belle. There were two other girls who were close but Rachel won out for a variety of reasons, in my book. The director agreed that the choice would be between Rachel and this other girl (whom I love just for herself; my beef is not with her). The primary parent helper in that class suggested that, because Rachel has had more leading parts than the other girl, it was the other girl's turn to get a leading part.

I was rather aghast.

We had had the discussion about how her own daughter should try out for whatever part she wants, regardless of the fact that her daughter is one of the younger ones in the class and felt that she should "let the other girls have a chance". Then the parent helper advised her daughter to audition for whatever she wanted and not worry about the other girls. Fine and dandy. That's apparently great for her daughter but when it comes to another person, we want to not promote based on merit but on the fact that the other girl hasn't had as many main roles as Rachel has.


And apparently the director decided that that was the way to go. The other girl, who has another year to go I will also point out, is Belle and Rachel is Babette. Yay.

If Rachel had botched her audition or if the other girl were demonstratively better, I'd admit it and move on. But that is not the case. And I notice that the other parent helper's daughter got exactly the role she wanted, even though there was someone else who did a better job during auditions.

I am frustrated. And bitter. And angry. I don't think they collaborated to keep Rachel from getting the role but I do think that the parent helper was influencing the director in ways I have no idea of knowing. The director is new and rather overwhelmed at this point. I guess I should be angry with her but I'm not. It's the other mom that has my back up.

This is a woman I have repeatedly helped over the course of the years. I have gone out of my way to be kind to her and her daughter. I willingly help with costuming and stuff that has no bearing on the show I help on. I guess I'm the rube.

What I want to do is rage and throw a fit and quit this whole thing. What I will probably do is to work out my anger in another way and be very much more cautious about how I help her and everyone else in the future.

I hate that. But I also don't want to be taken advantage of.


This probably makes little to no sense. I'm so angry that I'm crying. I never cry. I am very very angry.

And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

No comments: